Although the over-the-top trend may still be alive and kicking - last year, my kid received an invite printed on cardstock thick as a paddle from Dazed and Confused - we used a simple design from Paperless Post. ![]() The postage alone must have cost six bucks. It was swaddled in pink tissue paper, the invite itself was a 6×8 slab of plexiglass festooned with ribbon and rhinestones - it screamed peak 1980s. I will never forget the bat mitzvah invitation that arrived in a giant box. Other low-key options: rent the gym in your kids’ school, secure a permit at a local playground, or even host in your backyard. We brought along a whole bunch of balls, and lucked out on the weather, so the party soon drifted out to the fields for frisbee and pick-up soccer games. ![]() From his sandbox days, Brooklyn’s Prospect Park has been Noah’s second home, so the park’s Picnic House felt like a natural backdrop for the ceremony and kiddush that followed. Location, location, locationīecause we were going off-script, we wanted a soulful setting. But if you don’t have a veteran, Torah-reading grandfather at your disposal, there’s an app for that: Pocket Torah is a recorded database of all the Torah portions that you can get right on your phone. My husband and I decided to learn a little Torah, too, in solidarity with Noah, who loathes the spotlight. We were fortunate because my dad taught Noah his Torah and Haftarah, which made the studying meaningful (and low-cost). There were lots of personal touches, including a symbolic passing of the Torah through the hands of grandparents and parents - from generation to generation - and a chuppah blessing surrounded by friends. With their help, we were able to stitch together a service that combined traditional and nontraditional elements. So we contacted Hebrew Helpers, a bicoastal a la carte bar mitzvah service that helped secure prayer books and a Torah, designed the program, and worked with Noah on his responsibilities. Our Jewish life centers around my kids’ progressive day school and summer camp, so it felt phony to suddenly join a synagogue for the sake of tradition. ![]() The bar mitzvah was last month, but since then, numerous friends have reached out, asking, “Can I borrow your binder?” While I’m not remotely organized enough for any binder, I’m happy to share what we did - and how you can, too. We went for humble and heartfelt - and apparently, we pulled it off. If we were going to keep the simcha stateside, it needed to reflect Noah as an individual, as well as our own values and sensibilities. Simple and straightforward, right?īut as we talked things over - and priced it out - we realized it would be a shame not to celebrate this milestone with family and friends, our close-knit Brooklyn community that’s integral to Noah’s life. We’d lug a Torah up Masada, have our son chant his prayers as the sun rose, then go jump in the Dead Sea. Initially, we thought we’d abscond to Israel for my son’s bar mitzvah.
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